🌊☄️ Chaos Coordinator & The Yoga in the Mess

I feel like my own Chaos Coordinator right now.

Every day I tick through to-do lists that refill overnight. The house is still a construction zone (no kitchen yet). I’m teaching extra classes to fund those renovations, co-leading a new 200-hour TT (magical!), prepping future trainings, trying to finish my biomechanics course from last spring, getting ready to head to Munich next month for Rolfing studies, and, because why not, I’m adopting a 18-year-old cat.

Oh my.

But here’s the thing: I chose this chaos. I knew it would come. And I’m still excited for what’s on the other side: a calmer nervous system, a finished home, a little more space to exhale, amazing trainings & retreats ahead. So this isn’t me complaining. It’s more like watching myself in the storm, curious about what it’s teaching me.

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The Yoga in the Mess

A few years ago, I don’t think I could’ve held this much. I would’ve over-planned, or tried to make everything perfect.

Now, I’m learning something that yoga talks about all the time:

👉 Abhyasa — steady practice, consistent effort.

👉 Vairagya — non-attachment to the result.

They’re like the inhale and exhale of yoga philosophy.

Abhyasa is the doing: showing up, putting in the work, staying committed even when things are chaotic. That’s me right now, juggling projects and deadlines, just trying to keep the train moving forward.

Vairagya is the letting go: releasing control over when or how the results arrive. That’s the part most of us struggle with. Because when you care deeply, “non-attachment” sounds a bit like “don’t care,” right? But it’s not that.

It’s faith: the quiet knowing that effort takes time to bloom.

It’s trust: that things can grow even while you’re not watching.

It’s patience: the strength to keep showing up even when you can’t yet see the outcome.

And all of that leads to another layer: Bhakti: the yoga of devotion.

Bhakti is what transforms any of my effort into an offering. It’s the spirit behind why we do what we do. When our actions come from ego (rajas), dullness (tamas), or even from trying to be “pure” or “good” (sattva), we’re still attached to a certain outcome: praise, success, validation, peace.

But Bhakti asks something simpler and more radical:

to act as devotion itself.

To do the work not for the ego, but through the heart.

To offer every bit of effort: the messy, imperfect, late-night kind, as something sacred.

So when I step back, I see how yoga is training me not just on the mat, but in life:

to act fully, release gently, and remember that everything I do can be an offering.

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Where are you in this?

Maybe you’re in your own version of the storm: a full calendar, a life transition, or a moment where everything feels “almost there.”

Can you still breathe in the middle of it?

Can you practice abhyasa, steady effort, without losing vairagya: that peaceful trust that things will unfold?

Because maybe the real yoga isn’t only about cultivating balance…

It might also be about building capacity for when balance isn’t available. Love & Bhakti, Fanny